Trigger Warning: the content below references various forms of trauma*
Has Unresolved Trauma Left You Feeling Disconnected From Yourself?
Did you experience a traumatic event at some point in your life? Do you often feel shut down and disconnected from yourself because of it? Are you wondering what other long-term effects trauma has on your physical and emotional wellness and what you can do to address them?
The aftermath of your trauma could affect you without you even knowing it. What you may experience physically—insomnia, headaches, bodily tension, panic attacks—can all stem from what happened to you. But if these physical symptoms have become chronic conditions, you might have accepted these discomforts as normal and inescapable.
Perhaps you experience flashbacks or heightened reactions when you’re confronted with people, places, or events that remind you of the traumatic event(s). Or conversely, you might not remember the details of what happened, but you still carry the emotional wound of it all the same. Regardless of what you may or may not remember about it, you could be feeling irritable, anxious, depressed, or hopeless as a result of your trauma.
If your trauma stems from a harmful relationship, you might find that your ability to trust has been compromised and it’s hard for you to feel safe around other people. Your built-in defense mechanisms kick in, keeping you in a protected place where you don’t share your vulnerabilities or feel comfortable relying on anybody. But the disconnection you’re experiencing isn’t limited to those around you. The most profound disconnection could be within yourself.
You may have shut down your ability to be present in your own body and mind. Subconsciously, you could be dissociating from parts of yourself because it’s uncomfortable to examine the pain you would find there. It’s easier to remain numb to what’s going on inside than confront your sorrows.
Fortunately, trauma therapy can help you heal from your emotional wounds and rediscover the love you have for others and—most importantly—yourself.
Trauma Is Prevalent Around Us But Not Always Recognized For What It Is
From early childhood through adulthood, we are all exposed to various forms of trauma. We may experience trauma individually—suffering emotional, psychological, sexual or physical abuse, being neglected as children, or getting rejected due to sexual orientation. Or we may experience trauma in groups—enduring systemic family abuse, racism, sexism, or hate crimes aimed against BIPOC and LGBTQ2+ communities. And we may experience it en masse—think events like 9/11, the murder of George Floyd, mass shootings, etc.
Unfortunately, many of us don’t recognize when we have suffered trauma. We tend to minimize our experience. We point to what somebody else endured, say it was far worse than what we went through, and conclude that we’re fine. Our family of origin or cultural background may even dictate what the “acceptable” reaction to a difficult event should be. We feel obligated to follow it. As a result, we often lose sight of the fact that how one person handles something shouldn’t be representative of how everyone handles it.
In some cases, our society not only accepts the occurrence of traumatic events but facilitates them. For example, the sexual abuse of children is a problem that can be perpetuated over multiple generations. But instead of taking measures to prevent it, the family (or in some cases, the church) continues to protect the abusers instead of the children. This secondary victimization—the family’s or community’s denial that the abuse ever happened—is often worse than the abuse itself. Without validation or acknowledgment of the abuse, we suffer even more.
The good news is that with the help of a trauma therapist, you can resolve the physical and emotional challenges you are facing and restore peace and calm in your body and mind.
Trauma Therapy Can Help You Reconnect With Others And With Yourself
A lot of my clients start therapy because they can’t shake the emotional and mental pain that is holding them back from engaging with the outside world. They’re often unaware that the underlying cause of their pain is actually trauma. As a trauma-informed therapist, my approach is to start our work together by addressing the symptoms you experience and then work toward identifying what lies at the root of those symptoms.
As the Canadian doctor, Gabor Mate॔ says,” Safety is not about the absence of threat, it’s about connection.” My goal is to create an unbiased environment where you feel heard, understood, and valued without judgment. I aim to create a sense of safety by allowing you to go at your own pace and only talk about what you are comfortable expressing. Once you’ve had the chance to tell your story without the worry of judgment or blame, self-understanding and exploration can begin.
At our first session, we will review the intake form you filled out in advance and identify your current symptoms, struggles, successes, and goals. We will explore your family relationships—both past and present—in addition to how you view yourself and what your inner self-talk sounds like. I want to get to know you so I can understand how best to help you.
From that point on, we will work on coping skills and self-care, explore unresolved feelings, relationship boundaries, and work challenges, and address substance use if desired. If at any time you decide to tell me about a traumatic event, you will have control over whether it is ever brought up again. It’s also vital to know that trauma can be overcome whether or not you have a clear memory of it.
I will help you gain a better understanding of your mind and body and the way each reacts to the world around you. Your emotions are labels for what your body experiences. When you experience muscle tension, for example, you may not understand that it means you’re feeling frightened. But if you pay attention to your body’s experiences and how you’ve identified the corresponding emotion, then how you interpret the world around you—and connect with it—will expand significantly. Understanding the mind-body connection will aid in neutralizing your nervous system’s reactions to emotional triggers so you can experience inner peace.
My strategy for trauma treatment is a multi-modal approach to therapy that draws from various techniques—including Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic and talk therapy, and Polyvagal theory. By drawing from an eclectic mixture of modalities, I will cater to your needs and interests so that I can help you work through trauma on your own terms.
It’s amazing to feel your mind and body at peace. Finding this peace is absolutely possible when utilizing the above modalities—and achieving it doesn’t require you reliving your trauma in therapy. You will get more enjoyment out of life, regain your confidence, and rediscover your ability to connect with yourself and others.
But you may still be wondering whether trauma therapy is right for you…
I don’t want to relive my traumatic experience—is that the only way to address it?
Fortunately, there are new developments in EMDR that actually require you to ignore the trauma while we talk about a very positive memory or experience. Recently more than 30 randomized controlled trials (RCT) have demonstrated EMDR therapy as a first-choice treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). By paying attention to back-and-forth eye movements while recounting an experience, a shift occurs in the emotions you associate with that memory so that your body and mind can eventually release it. EMDR helps erase the effects of trauma without reliving it.
I’m afraid of being judged. Besides, the trauma I experienced wasn’t that bad.
Telling a stranger your deepest pain and most vulnerable memories can take time, but I am here to help, not judge. Facing your trauma opens you up to the reality of what you went through and what you have been trying to survive ever since. You have come this far. Let’s process all of it together so you can heal from your pain.
What if my trauma counseling results in rejection from my friends or family?
As you change the way you interact with your trauma, your relationships can change as well. These changes are often for the better. However, when you work to restructure or step away from unhealthy relationships, you can experience some uncomfortable emotions. But you are not required to change your relationships—whether you choose to or not is completely up to you.
It’s Time To Heal, Live Your Life, And Return To Joy.
When you seek treatment for trauma, it can help you address what’s been holding you back from the life you deserve. For a free, 15-minute consultation, please feel free to contact me.